Deerington Inbox

[trancheuse]

"Oh come on, you can't seriously expect me to respond to every one of these stupid messages that these idiots..."
*BEEP*

Comments

CW there's bound to be some awful crap in here somewhere

[trancheuse]

(OOC: From here!)

Oooh, aren't you the edgy little wannabe immortal? I can help you with that, if you really want!

suicide ideation cw

[inconsequence]

[Chara's tone is dry.]

You really don't know very much about me. I'm looking for the most permanent way out, not the fastest.

[trancheuse]

Hey now. Don't act like I was trying to learn that much about you to begin with. I'm only a little curious. So, you've tried to slough off this mortal coil, put yourself out of your collective misery but it doesn't take?

Well, who knows? Maybe I'll help you finish the job sometime.

[Because where others might try to convince her otherwise? Larxene was the exact opposite of helpful.]

[inconsequence]

I don't think I'll require your help. I'm perfectly capable of - what's the saying?

Pulling myself up by my own bootstraps.

Christmas Eve

[finaletea]

[You have been visited by Holy Mami!


She descends from the winter night sky, presents in hand. She has a smile on her face as she hands you a gift with a note attached.]


“You’ve been naughty this year! You’d ought to try harder next year! Merry Christmas, though!”

[Before you have the chance to argue though, she’s gone! She has a lot of gifts to deliver and little time to do so!]

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Action

[trancheuse]

[A couple days later, at a time when she was certain of Mami being at work, and had managed to finally track down where she lived, a piece of coal was hurled through one of Mami's windows at full force... just after a certain someone very carefully ensured there were no cats watching.

Wrapped around it was a note that read as follows.]

Thank you so much for this lovely projectile. Happy to use it in good stead! Merry Christmas! Send more coal next year!

-Larxene

[finaletea]

[ YOU COULDN'T EVEN WAIT FOR HER TO BE HOME YOU COWARD- ]

[trancheuse]

[Hey, she had a valid excuse. Her leg was still busted, just like the window!

Haha, totally chickened out on that one.]

text UN: Ranger

[mrsnesbitt]

[he really shouldn't do this, but-- that persistent pain that's steadily getting worse through the thread is really starting to grate on him, especially with everything else that's going on.]

Whatever you're doing to yourself, stop it.
It's annoying.

[trancheuse]

I'm fiiiiine, leave me alone!

Why does everyone keep telling me to stop doing anything? I'm not doing anything but protecting all of the little brothers and sisters in town from the big bad wolves waiting to pounce. I'm not even doing anything to myself.

[Yeah, well, the sensations coming through the thread told a very different story. That slug was taking a serious toll on her body. Though, she wasn't entirely wrong. She hadn't actively done anything to her body since getting the slug in the first place. It was just too much to last so long.]

[mrsnesbitt]

You're literally not. I can feel it.
Believe me, I don't want to.
But I do.

You are doing something very stupid.
I fully support the idea of protecting kids, but you can't do anything if you're dead.

[trancheuse]

Listen here, dumb dumb. I'm not kidding.
I don't care what you can feel through that stupid thread of yours.
By the way, nice place you're at. You realize I can sense exactly where you stay most nights, don't you? Handy intel, if I gave a rat's behind.

I haven't done anything to myself since half-way through rapture.
Ever since I ate that slug, I don't need to do anything.
I'm just a bad mama jamma here.

[Translation. She did something. A month ago.]

(misfire) klapbak (cw: needles?)

[clussy]

apparently theres this thing where people put needles in you to chill you th fuck out like accupuncture or whatever right and i was like
oh shit
they should do that but like for your head


and then i remembered thats just called a lobotomy
and i was like gotta get me one of those

4/7 - Text reply CW just... no. Read at your own peril.

[trancheuse]

Man, kid.
You are the king of oversharing.
I'd offer to make you heartless since you want it so bad.
But can't actually do that here.

No dice on that lobotomy, though
Best I've got's an ice pick, and even I think that's a bad idea.

hhonestly yea

[clussy]

someone once told me that was a symptom of chronic anxiety i either overshare or say nothing at all no one gets anything inbetween

(He really wishes he was joking here, but.

Wait a heartless? God damn it. Again? Really? Another misfire?)

what does it even take to make someone 'heartless'??? is it just magic??

yea i would not trust an ice pick anywhere near my eyes

[trancheuse]

So when you get nervous, you just vomit words and TMI, or you clam up like a scallop on land? Greaaaaat Well, I'm kind of useles.

Not even sure I remember right now. Best not to think about it.
And no lobotomy for you. No lobotomy at all. Totally not worth it.

Besides, I don't have any ice picks around.

Middle of the week around 6pm

[maidforcombat]

[Right around dinner time, Larxene's going to get a couple of quick text messages.]

Salutations friend!!
My best friend and I are having a movie marathon at our house this weekend.
I was hoping you would like to come!
I meant to tell you sooner, but I have been at practice all afternoon and have not had a chance.

[Here, she'll snap a quick pic of her in her cheerleading uniform.]

If you have any movie or snack preferences, I'd be more than happy to pick something up!

1/3 Reaction...

[trancheuse]

[Eh? Who the hell was texting her? Was it another one of those weird accidental texts? Oh, no, it looked like it was on purpose. Oh god, it was Penny.

Salutations? Why did she say that? She was so weirdly formal. Larxene was almost tempted to joke when she felt brief relief. Ok, she wasn't the best friend. Good... good...

But didn't she realize there was a war going on? Maybe she should blow this off.]

2/3 Reaction

[trancheuse]

[No, if she blew her off, Penny was just going to be even more effervescent the next time, and giggly and bubbly, and then she'd end up getting roped into even more of this banal friend stuff. Larxene had already figured out that barring being actually cruel to her, Penny didn't seem to mind that she had a violent streak or a rough edge. Of course, she wasn't quite as mean spirited as she'd normally be, but still...

And besides, the coffee hadn't been terrible. Awkward but not terrible.

Oh wait, there was another attachment... *click*]

3/4 I lied, Reaction. Reply incoming in 3...2...1...

[trancheuse]

[Squint.]

...

[That was Penny.
Very Perky.
In a very cute cheerleading uniform.
A slightly short skirted cheerleading uniform at that.
That... you didn't send pictures like this to friends out of the blue, did you?
Why would you send this? Was she supposed to compliment her? Was she supposed to tease her about her hair or her skin or the ten-thousand other things Larxene could come up with off the cuff? No, this wasn't supposed to get a tease. The urge was there, but why... why did she?]

WHY WOULD YOU SEND ME THIS?!?

[That wasn't actually a reply. She was shrieking at her fluid in utter befuddlement and confusion. Her head hurt, and not for the first time. She should definitely blow this off. She should absolutely blow this off. She had to get the hell away from this crazy fucking red-head who was sending her pictures of her before it was too late.]

4/4 Text: UN - Foudre

[trancheuse]

Sure, my weekend's free.
Meet you there at five.
Uh, cheetos if you could swing it. I'll bring some Mt. Dew.

You look cute.

[Fuck her life. She had no willpower.]

[maidforcombat]

That is very sweet of you to say so!
When I first saw the outfits for our squad, I knew I had to join.
Being a cheerleader is just another way to put a smile on people's faces, right? :)

[Here, she'll just snap another quick pic of her smiling face, sent along with her address.]

dream spam, mid to late November

[tetractys]

One of the oddest parts of Deerington, for Bill, isn't the blood rivers, or the all-powerful child, or the murder cats. Those things are all fine. Some are even fun!

The oddest part is that people still sleep and dream. All we ever see or seem, or something like that.

It's the familiarity that pulls Bill's attention over to Larxene's dream - who does she remind him of? Archer? Xigbar, maybe? One of those two old cranks. Let's see what's going on in here.

[trancheuse]

Xigbar. Now, that was a name she didn't think about often. That old one-eyed bastard was more of an egotistical pain in the ass than the average within the organization. But somehow, the connection, the shared memory and recollection would make certain thoughts and recollections of him percolating up, mingling with the fact that she'd spent a lot of time working with magical girls lately and ...

This absolutely fucking happened. Congratulations, Bill got to see Xigbar in a tutu as Larxene stared in mingled horror and confusion. "DUDE! THE HELL?!?"

[tetractys]

There's just a calm click-whirr of a camera shutter from her left as a yellow triangle about the size of a dinner plate is hovering in mid-air. Bill's eye flashes white, and a polaroid starts to eject out from a slot that's just grown between the pattern of bricks that marks his front below his bow tie.

"OH YEAH. THAT ONE'S GOING ON THE INTERNET."

He takes himself too seriously. If Bill ever sees him again he's gonna propose a uniform change.