Deerington Inbox

[trancheuse]

"Oh come on, you can't seriously expect me to respond to every one of these stupid messages that these idiots..."
*BEEP*

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[tetractys]

"I DID! WHO GAVE YOU ANTENNAE? YOU PICKING UP PHEROMONES WITH THOSE?"

Bill's hat sprouts two long cowlicks of blond hair. It makes him look like he has rabbit ears.

[trancheuse]

She laughed uproariously. "I'm not a bug, pyramid head!" She was clearly far more amused than she should be, even if amused Larxene was as likely to lightning bolt as annoyed Larxene. "It's magic. probably the static electricity. I swear even I don't know why they do that."

[tetractys]

"WELL, IT'S A DISTINCT SILHOUETTE, ANYWAY. I HEAR THAT'S IMPORTANT. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THEY GET WET?"

Gonna float into the air and try to pat one of Larxene's hair bits experimentally.

[trancheuse]

She snickered when he did that. There was a little static charge, but this was a dream so it wasn't the real deal. Still, she thought of them as being basically waiting conduits.

"Gets flattened until the moment I dry off. Alright, so you are WAY too talkative or a dream there, big guy. Whoooo aaaaaaare aaaayouuuu?" Yeah, her best impression of a certain caterpillar with a hookah.

[tetractys]

"I'M MISTER I. I MEAN, THAT'S NOT MY REAL NAME, BUT MY REAL NAME TURNS PEOPLE INTO DUST, SO LET'S SKIP THAT ONE."

Also, people are actively looking for a 'Bill Cipher,' and while that's still not his real name it's one he'd prefer to use. Oh well.

"I KINDA STEPPED OUT FOR A BIT ON BUSINESS AND WHEN I CAME BACK THERE WAS THIS WEIRD LITTLE GIRL AND SHE KIDNAPPED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE."

[trancheuse]

She was laughing even harder, shaking her head. "Oh man, that isn't sketchy as hell at all. Love it. Whatever, you do you, just no seriously messing with me and we won't have a problem." She gave him a smile that would cut steel.

"And yeah, that kid's good at kidnapping randos. You get used to it. What business?"

[tetractys]

"HEEEY, HEY, IF WE'RE GONNA MAKE A CONTRACT I NEED MORE SPECIFIC TERMS THAN THAT."

[trancheuse]

"A contract it says, mmm? Hah. I think I know better than to just set one of those up. Let's just stick with names for starters, Mister I. I'm Larxene, but apparently you know the organization. So you might have heard of me." She snickered some. A little more wary, but when was she ever not easy going in her own perverse ways?

[tetractys]

"HIYA!"

Bill's gonna stick his hand out to shake, and tip his hat at the same time.

"I ONLY KNOW THE ONE GUY. HE'S EXPLAINED SOMETHING ABOUT LIGHT AND DARKNESS AND BLADES, BUT IT ALL RAN TOGETHER."

[trancheuse]

Snoooort. She shook that hand and shrugged. "Yeah, yeah, that's the real short version. Light side fight for good and right and all things power of friendshipy. Dark side fights for whatever baldy wants us to while plotting revenge. Yada yada yada. Boo hoo. And the light side won because obviously it did. Do the bad guys eeeever really win?" Pause. wait. Don't answer that yet.

"I mean in any world where that asshole Walt isn't and his idiot mouse aren't involved?"

[tetractys]

"HA! HEY, WORLDS LIKE THAT ARE FEWER AND FEWER THESE DAYS."

Thinking about you, Star Wars and Marvel casts.

"I'M FROM HIS T.V. ANIMATION DEPEARTMENT! HENCE MY LESS THAN GLAMOROUS FRAMES-PER-SECOND."

[trancheuse]

Pause. Hold up. Wait. She squinted. "Wait. Whattaya mean? You mean that bastard and his brother are wrapped up in your world too? You have to deal with that turd Mickey?"

[tetractys]

"YEAH, SURE DO. I PROBABLY HAVE A CHIP IN ME SOMEWHERE SO THE BLACK HELICOPTERS CAN TRACK ME IF I GO ROGUE. HAHAHAHH, TOO LATE."

[trancheuse]

"Oh man. You do know that Walt's actually supposed to be dead right? Not that being dead stops you from being a paranoid fuckstick with a ruler shoved up your ass." ...Roy would blush if he heard that thought.

[tetractys]

"SURE 'SUPPOSED' TO BE. THEY FROZE HIS BRAIN BEFORE HE DIED AND STORED HIM UNDER DISNEYLAND."

Next up on Bill's Hot Takes: the government is controlling the weather, and don't even get him started on Masonic temples.

[trancheuse]

"I've heard that one. I've even heard he's attached to a robot body waiting to attack mankind, haha. He's a regular bogeyman isn't he?" She paused and squinted at him. "You're not one of Xehanort's side projects, I hope. I know Walt's got his fingers in more than one world. Dead or alive."

[tetractys]

"PLEEEEASE. I'M A SELF-MADE GUY! EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE SOME SLEEP-DEPRIVED UNDERPAID OVERSEAS ANIMATOR HAS TO DRAW EVERY TIME I MOVE."

Bill wiggles his fingers around just to fuck with 'em. Just stands there and wiggles.

"IN MY MULTIVERSE, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF YOU GUYS. AND I WOULD HAVE HEARD OF YOU GUYS!"

[trancheuse]

She laughed at that. "Just because we're one world's fiction doesn't make us any less our own people. In so far as a Nobody is ever Somebody, hahaha!" See, she made a funny! Well, she thought it was funny anyway. "Just gotta watch it. You ever get the feeling someone's looking over your shoulder?"

She threw a lightning bolt back there without a second thought and smirked. "Ok. So, we're both from worlds tied to him but not the same ones. So, are you actually IN the Deer hell, or did I eat a bad can of soup?"

Cook your food, Larxene.

(if you dont want to engage with this kinda meta lmk and i can pull this back)

[tetractys]

"YEAH, PRETTY MUCH ALWAYS. ACTUALLY, I GOT A THEORY ABOUT THIS PLACE. I'M HERE, BUT DON'T RULE OUT THAT THE SOUP WAS BAD.

Bill holds out his hands and images start spinning over them, around each other - a ship in a bottle, a town growing out of an upturned deer's skull, a chess board overgrown with roses.

"SEE, IT'S NOT THE ONLY ONE. I ONLY SPENT ENOUGH TIME ON THE SHIP HERE TO REALLY GET TO KNOW IT, BUT ALL THE SIGNS THERE POINTED TO IT BEING SET UP JUST TO HOLD INTERESTING PEOPLE SO SOMEBODY COULD WATCH THEM. LIKE A REALITY SHOW! HERE, IT'S SODDER - BUT IT'S ALWAYS SOMEBODY!"

(Hahaha, she's already way ahead of you there Bill. CW: 4th Walling the 4th Wall)

[trancheuse]

She snorted and grinned over at him. "FINALLY, someone had to say it. I don't think any of those shits would believe you, but we are definitely being watched, there Pyramid Head. In fact, I think the crap we're dealing with isn't entirely under Sodder's control. I swear there's someone probably watching her right now. I bet you, they're watching us right now, giggling like idiots."

She turned around and brought both middle fingers up. "This is what I think of you shoving fucking dancing sunflowers in my lawn you shithead! I know you're out there."

...you're off about 45 degrees, there, Larxene.

(coolcool i always check haha)

[tetractys]

"SURE. THERE'S ALWAYS FIGUREHEADS AT THE TOP TO GET PEOPLE'S ATTENTION OFF THE QUESTION OF 'WHO' AND 'WHY.' IF YOU ASK ME, THOUGH, 'WHO' ISN'T EVEN THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO FIGURE OUT."

The three spinning worlds in Bill's hands start slowing, sticking, collecting a fine spider's web between them, getting caught.

"THE THING TO FIGURE OUT IS, 'HOW DO WE USE IT.' RIGHT?"

[trancheuse]

"Now there's a question. I mean on the one hand, it's sort of hilarious to know that you're being watched. You can flip them off now and again, after all." And she really did get off to the humor of her existence. "But I don't know that other than convincing them it's time for the show to be over what I can use it for. It's a frustration vent, ya know? You ever watch the Truman Show? Not like we've got some door in the 'sky' somewhere is it?"

[tetractys]

"NO, NO. I DON'T THINK GETTING OUT IS EVEN THE ANSWER, I TRIED THAT ONE. FAR AS I KNOW, THE WORLD OUTSIDE HERE IS EVEN WORSE. OUTSIDE IN WALT'S UNIVERSE, STUFF LIKE YOU AND ME DOESN'T EXIST. AND, YOU KNOW, I DO LIKE TO EXIST. I THINK..."

Bill lets go of the three rotating images and light extends from all of them; each connected to hundreds and hundreds of otherwise-isolated worlds.

"I THINK AS LONG AS WE MAKE IT INTERESTING TO WATCH, WE COULD GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING. PERFECT PLANS AREN'T NECESSARY. IF YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'LL BE THE MOST SATISFYING TO WIN, YOU'LL WIN! KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

cw fatalistic ideation

[trancheuse]

"I can take it or leave it, but I'm on the verge of not existing again, so I have a different experience with that." She shrugged and then chucked a little too much or anyone's comfort. "Oooh, maybe Elrena would stop existing too. Wonder how she would feel about that... whatever, fuck'er. she waas poorly written anyway, I say. Otherwise why would she keep becoming me?"

... the logic of that, Larxene, is dizzying. Seriously. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure if we keep the tap dance up enough to amuse our benefactors they'll keep us around and not, you know, make us go out in a blaze of electric glory, shutting down the power plant for a day." Yup, this girl is kind of nuts, Bill.

[tetractys]

"ARE YOU DYING, OR JUST GETTING YOUR SERIES CUT? 'CAUSE THERE'S SOLUTIONS FOR EITHER OF THOSE!"

Bill pulls the ship in a bottle out of the web, tosses it up and down in his hand.